How to Build a Dragon: Freedom & Responsibility

“Let me write your work plan,” the guide says. 

He responds, “I already have.” He shows her his plan for the morning, a responsibility taken from his guide and asserted on his own.

“Are you going to work on your Large Bead Frame (math)?”

He negotiates with her, “First, I’m going to do solar system work, then I’m going to do math work.” The guide understands the child’s assertion of independence is a need being expressed–one the child may not even be aware of himself. So, she agrees.

The child is free to make the solar system. This is maybe the tenth day in a row he has drawn the solar system. This time though, the planets are in their orbits–an understanding he shows for the first time. 

Then, the child proceeds to math.

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Another child decides to make a dragon for the Celebration of Light. The guides ask if he needs anything. “No. I’ve got it!” He says. 

For the next weeks, he works on it with friends, coming to the teachers only when he needed materials or supplies refilled. The guides allow the work to continue.

The child becomes an expert on Chinese New Year and produces a beautiful dragon.

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A fourth grader is assigned a first grade child to read with each day. The first grade child resists the older child. In fact, she resists all the guides. The guides don’t push the fourth grader to try again, but she persists, day after day, trying to establish a relationship with her young classmate.

One day, she invites the first grader to the library, where she can pick out her own book to read. From then on, the younger child looked forward to reading with her buddy.

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These instances demonstrate how the child’s sense of freedom was enhanced by responsibility which then enhanced their freedom. In the first example, the child’s responsibility of writing their work plan for the day was respected, allowing a freedom that, in turn, resulted in more learning. In the second, the guides’ hands-off approach allowed the child the freedom to work with peers, to explore more about the subject, to lead, and to create meaningfully. The responsibility of leadership and project management taken on unassumingly by an 8-year old.

In Montessori, we sometimes talk about concepts as a “Point of Arrival” or a “Point of Departure.” The golden beads are a “Point of Departure:” the child needs not know much nor have certain skills in order to start using them. Freedom, however, is a “Point of Arrival:” The child must have independence, understand limits, have developed will and a sense of responsibility before they can truly experience freedom in the classroom–or anywhere else, for that matter. So, while Montessori often gets a bad rap for allowing too much freedom, this is because new or unaware guides misinterpreting Montessori’s work.

The reading buddy example proves to us that, given the freedom to relinquish responsibility, it is in the nature of humans to accept it. We are a social group, with responsibilities toward one another. These are responsibilities we feel and take on in an environment that allows us to assert our freedom. 

But what came first? (I promise you, these results don’t usually apply at home.) 

The first thing a guide does when a child comes into the community is to guide them to work that will bring them joy. I use the word “guide” intentionally. They are literally a tour guide, introducing children to the environment through demonstrations; they are also a travel guide, showing brochure after brochure until a child clings to a destination, then they’ll present as much as they can in that vein, until the child is ready for more breadth. Bringing work to a child until the child finds joy in work is the first task.

In the home environment, this may look like demonstrating doing dishes, folding laundry, vacuuming until the child finds something they like to do. It is important that we present these demonstrations as quality time spent with the child and that we demonstrate joy in some part of the process–dancing to favorite music while doing the dishes, showing satisfaction with the beautiful way you fold the towels,  making perfectly symmetrical lines in the carpet while vacuuming. Whatever your joy is–share that with the child. When I was a child, my joy was cleaning the toilet because I could clearly see the effect of my effort.

Second, after finding the chore or chores your child can find joy in, at this point, allow them to decide the criteria for doing the chore. Is it every Saturday morning? Or when the carpet looks dirty? Have a conversation about how often this needs to be done, taking their thoughts into account and testing their theories.

Finally, it is critical that caregivers recognize that a sense of responsibility breeds a sense of belonging. When the child cares for a room or a pet or a sibling, it is then that they feel like they belong to the community or family that cares for that room or pet or sibling. Responsibility is a critical human tendency. It is within a context of freedom that responsibility will flourish.

Also in this series:

 *Freedom: The Opportunity to Act

*Interrupting Freedom & Building Independence

*Freedom & Its Limits:  Developing Will & Self-Discipline